Forsoothsayer praises Paxy’s

While all of you are now sitting at your desks fantasizing about molokheya and giant pots of mahshy, the time will come during the blessed month when you will all be sick of dishes swimming in samna and want to get far, far away from anything originating (if so generous a term may be used in reference to our mongrel cuisine) in the Arab world. At that point, you should go to Paxy’s, a brilliant Korean restaurant in Mohandessin.

Creepily located in the basement of the Amoun Hotel on Midan Sphinx, Paxy’s is a real find in a city where the quality of restaurant food is poor compared to pretty much anywhere else (I have heard great things about the pizza in Addis Ababa). As a party of dedicated epicures, we debated long and hard about the best way of ensuring that everybody tried everything, and although some eyes shone at the possibility of eating grilled sea cucumbers, it was agreed that since these mainly acted as a filter for all sea debris, we should stick to non-trash-receptacle meats.

We ordered two kinds of do-it-yourself barbeque beef and various kinds of noodles and rice, in addition to fried shitake mushrooms and bamboo shoots in sauce. A thoroughly misguided friend of mine declined to partake in these delights and ordered something with tofu. I won’t even describe that as I see tofu as gastronomic infamy – to what purpose should people eat something that has no flavour of its own and bounces in your mouth?

When we had ordered from a very nice and knowledgeable head waiter, it was mere minutes before our drinks and appetizers were brought. Korean cuisine is known for its large variety of side dishes, particularly kimchi, fermented spicy vegetables. Although I do not believe cabbage should ever be consumed, everyone else enjoyed their kimchi enormously and ordered more, which was brought without any traditional Egyptian haggling over extra cost. Our grill was swiftly and expertly set up – in contrast to another of Cairo’s Korean eateries, Hana Barbeque, where careless hands spill gas and questions are met with open mouths – and soon our dishes of galbi (ribs) and bulgogi (marinated beef) were brought. We quickly commenced grilling while stuffing our faces with expertly-wielded chopsticks and passing dishes with near-military precision. I particularly admired the neat way my friend B used the meat scissors to cut strips of rib meat.

The idea was that we would find out which kind of meat we preferred, and then order more of this. The bulgogi – titled simply “Korean bbq beef” – was so sublime that there was a second of silence when we all tasted it. “Let’s get more of this!” was one of the few things said at that meal after that, apart from my continuous protests at the snatching of meats before I had a chance to grab any. I should not be penalized for liking my meat slightly better done than my friends do! After we left, people kept patting themselves on the belly and saying things like, “gastronomically, we did very well for ourselves today.”

In addition to the succulent bulgogi, I was nearly dumbstruck by the quality of the service. While it is true that I am a harsh critic of the abysmal service offered by almost all Egyptian establishments, I want to give credit where credit is due: the only thing that was late was the check. And although that was very late, we witnessed the astonishing feat of a tour group of some 30 Koreans being whisked in, seated at tables already set with kimchi, brought steaming bowls of food, and then being cleared out in about half an hour. Although of course they didn’t order individual dishes, or receive checks, it was nevertheless a stunning spectacle of un-Egyptian restaurateur-ing. Julius Caesar could not have deployed waiters better than their head waiter did.

Also of note: they only serve Sakkara, not Stella. We can worry about that in October though. And we never did find out who Paxy is.